Undivided Heart

Amazon Rules! Literaly. ICUDAKN.

2011-11-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

I saw this info graphic on the frugal dad blog and had to share it. As the holiday season approaches, I have to agree that Amazon is my first place to go to get something I need quickly. Happy shopping! bw

Source: Frugaldad.com

Investing in yourself

2011-09-22T20:48:00.001-07:00

What are you doing today to invest in yourself as a leader? I just heard about this resource and it sounds interesting.

99 ministry leaders get 9 minutes each to share their best stuff. Here's the link:
http://thenines.cc/register-now/

What resources are growing you as a leader?

Can your Mac do this: º ñ √ ?

2011-01-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

I know this is going to be a shock to some, but Apple doesn't do everything perfectly. I have issues with my Mac...but here's a small one that I often forget about--until I REALLY need it.

Until today (after owning a Mac for 5 years!), I have not known how to make the degree symbol. Isn't that ridiculous? But now I do. And that's what I want to share with you today!

You can type the degree symbol (º) by holding down the Option key (also usually labeled Alt) and typing a zero. There are a lot of other symbols you can pretty easily type with the help of the Option key, including a nifty way of typing accented characters, accent-first.

What little issue makes you crazy on your Mac?.

Good news about malnutrition

2010-11-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

I am learning a lot about malnutrition in the world right now because a friend of mine, Mark Moore with Mana (see www.mananutrition.org), is working to save millions of starving kids. Just so you know, more kids die of acute malnutrition than AIDS & Malaria COMBINED! That is staggering!

The video link below (just watch 5 minutes if that's all you have) is of a comparable product to Mana. Mark has begun producing a similar product for less money and is trying to raise the funds needed to produce Mana. If this moves you at all, think about how you can connect with their mission to save lives.

Although I work more on the "equipping young leaders" side of ministry, I want my students to know people like Mark who are dreaming big and giving their lives to making a real difference in this world.

Really?

2010-11-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

There's a hilarious commercial on TV these days...

I confess that this commercial has struck a nerve with my soul. Really, my soul. The deep part.

What if I was so clueless to what God was trying to say to me or make me aware of because my focus was so fixated on my little world? What if I was so oblivious to the people I love the most, like my wife, kids and friends? I mean, what if I was just missing them because of my self absorption? How painful a wreck would that be?

Today I'm seeking God's help to do this one thing better. Jesus said it in John 10:27: "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

I want to pay much greater attention to God's voice & His leading today than I ever have before. I have so much to learn

God Gave Me You

2010-10-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Trisha & I are reading the book "Love & War" by the John & Stasy Eldridge and working through it with our life group. It's been a great conversation starter and tonight was our first week. We just laughed and laughed even as we shared about the difficulty of life together. Who knew it'd be this hard to get what we want?

Anyway, I want a great marriage! Which means, I have a lot of growing up to do and a lot of changes to make in order to be the kind of guy who can say, "As you wish" to my princess "Trishacup."

This song by Dave Barnes is my little reminder of how glad I am to have Trisha in my life and how much I want to be with her for many, many years from now. So thanks Lord for who you gave me!

God Gave Me You by Dave Barnes
I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
*If* There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you.

Nehemiah

2010-02-16T23:08:00.001-08:00

I read the book of Nehemiah tonight. It has brought me to tears. Our church is reading through the Bible, sort of--actually a book called The Story, which is a summary of the Bible that includes actual Bible text and some fill-in commentary. We are at the end of the Old Testament, the story of God loving His people, the Israelites.

The last several weeks have been a little sad. The theme has been similar--God calls His people to obedience. They disobey. They suffer. They come back to Him. Then they get sidetracked. He calls them back again. They refuse. They suffer. They come back. And so on.

Nehemiah is the story of the Israelites finally coming back to Jerusalem and rebuilding the temple that was destroyed by their enemies. God told them to because it was important to Him for them to worship Him in a special place, in special ways that He set out for them.

When they finished, the built a special podium and one of the priests stood up high so everyone could see, and he read from the book of God. As the people listened, they fell on their faces and wept with grief. How discouraging it must have been to hear about their family constantly disappointing the God of the universe! But Nehemiah told them not to cry, but to worship! So they lifted their hands and they worshiped.

As the Book was read, they realized that they were supposed to be doing things they had completely forgotten about, so they committed (again) to doing what God asked of them as completely as possible. It was time for the Feast of Tabernacles, and they were supposed to gather palm branches and make tents to live in for those 7 days. Which is exactly what they did! And here's the beautiful part. When they put themselves into the posture of obedience, they were happier than ever! Overwhelmed with joy!

They couldn't get enough, so they worshiped and they re-told their story, this time making an edict that they would obey, and everyone signed it. They kicked out the foreigners whose hearts did not belong to God--so that they could stay true to their commitments. Nehemiah was wise to acknowledge the reality of their past, that foreign women led to worshiping foreign gods and ultimately to their demise (but never without hope for redemption!).

So many thoughts come to mind. First, I have told my precious little children in Bible class hundreds of times--God blesses obedience. If we choose disobedience, there will always be negative consequences, but if we choose to obey, we will be blessed. Bless their hearts, the Israelites have come back to that truth, praise God! (I know they will stray again, but let's celebrate the moment with them in Nehemiah!)

Second, as a mom, how committed am I to truly following God's design for my family? Am I allowing "foreigners" to infiltrate our life and affect our devotion to our God? Who (or what) needs to be kicked out? Side note here: I am struggling with my 5-year old boy who seems to be getting more and more disrespectful and angry. Is it tv? video games? preschoolmates? Or is it completely unrelated to his surroundings?

Third, if God liked having a special place of worship for His people to come to then, is that still true now? Are church buildings supposed to be that? Or does New Law dissolve the significance of "houses of worship" and elevate the significance of our bodies being a temple of the Holy Spirit? Have I taught my kids to view our "house of worship"--church building--as a special place to honor God in special ways? They have a lot of fun in that building, but is it holy? Is it supposed to be?

I want to hear what God is telling me through Nehemiah. Until tonight I could have summed up my knowledge of that book as follows: Nehemiah helped rebuild the wall, and the verse, "The joy of the LORD is your strength."

By the way, near the end of the book (maybe around ch. 10? Don't have my Bible in front of me), there is an excellent summary of the story of the Old Testament.

May the joy of the LORD be our strength!

Listen

2010-02-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

That's my theme for 2010. I have been praying about it since the new year and finally feel like I have it!

So, LISTEN! That's it! I don't know what God wants to say to me in this year, or where He wants to use me to listen to others, but I think this will be a good direction for me.

Listen...when God is speaking to me.

Listen...to my husband and respond to him accordingly.

Listen...to my kids when they want to talk or play.

Listen...to my body and quit when I'm full, get moving when I'm lazy, etc.

Listen...to others when they need mercy or encouragement.

Listen...to the voice of My LORD and DO NOT LISTEN to the voice of my enemy.

God, I'm listening. Speak to me!

Another possibility

2010-01-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

Balance...

I wonder if I need to set myself a deadline for coming up with a focus for the new year. Or the new year will get away from me. Maybe by Jan. 15th, when we get our house on the market.

More ideas

2010-01-05T09:27:00.001-08:00

So here are some ideas for experiments for 2010...

The de-cluttering my life experiment--getting rid of 1/2 our clothes and stuff.

The Scripture Memory experiment. Did this in 2009, and it has been a blessing, so maybe I should go a little deeper and learn more lengthy segments of scripture this year.

The Remembering Experiment. I am really wanting to get all my photos into scrapbooks and printable books for the newer ones. This would be really FUN!, but time-consuming.

The Creative Experiment. One thing I know about me is that I love to create things. I've just taught myself to crochet recently, love trying new recipes. What if I committed to trying to create something new at least every week? Hmmm...

More words to ponder

2010-01-04T14:14:00.000-08:00

Discipline

Welcome 2010

2010-01-04T11:47:00.000-08:00

It's already the 5th day of 2010, and I'm finally ready to let go of Christmas break and move on into the New Year. For the past few years, I've asked God to give me a word or phrase to focus on for the year. In 2008 it was "JOY", and I have to say I got distracted from that theme an awful lot last year. Last year it was "Focus" and I didn't do well at that--at all! I got distracted again! I know, this is a sad commentary on me.

So, today I have started asking God for a focus for 2010. Just for my own benefit, and since no one reads this blog anymore, I'm going to write down some thoughts that have come to mind today as I've prayed and pondered.

Experiment (more than just a word, I'm wondering if there might be some kind of experiment God might use to teach me. I watched Julie and Julia the other night and was inspired by Julie's experiment to make all the recipes. She benefited from the rhythm and purpose she felt in working toward a goal. I think there is something to that. And this morning I saw a story about a woman who did a year-long experiment in living the life Oprah told her to--buy the stuff she recommended, do the things she suggested, watched her show every morning. It sounded like she ended up pretty un-impressed with following Oprah's plan. She has stopped watching her show except rarely. That's fodder for another blog post.)

Relationship

Perseverance

Joy (maybe I need another shot at this???)

More later. That's a beginning anyway.

Facebook Ate My Blog

2009-11-08T20:19:00.001-08:00

Ok, I haven't even thought about my blog since getting addicted to Facebook. I think Facebook is killing my blog. :(

Prayers needed!!

2009-06-24T22:15:00.001-07:00

My friend Ron Stowe needs your prayers! Ron & I were Youth Ministers in SoCal but he has Acute Respitory Distress Syndrome resulting from the Swine Flu and is on life support in Scott & White Hospital in Temple, Texas. Pray for his wife Lauren, and kids Ali (21), Aaron (16), Victoria (15) & Nathan (11). Will you pray with me? bw

Put your lipstick on and go out!

2009-06-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Let the artist in you be free!

2009-06-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

Thinking I'd be supermom (since I wouldn't let them watch TV), I let E and O paint a box while I cleaned the garage. They're pretty good, huh?

Then I went outside to empty the trash, and they painted the door...

Notice the look of remorse on E's face. O is trying her best to look sorry.

Apology...Forgiveness...and all is well! A more colorful garage door isn't a bad idea anyway!

Go out for ice cream!

2009-06-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

Babysit a flock of flamingos

2009-06-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

Play in the sprinklers

2009-06-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Read...

2009-06-14T21:48:00.000-07:00

Play in the after-rain puddle in the driveway!

2009-06-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

Things to Do Instead of Watching TV

2009-06-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

This summer our family is choosing to be "TV-Free". So far, we have thoroughly enjoyed it. We've been collecting ideas for a book, and I will share them here when I can. Our book is titled, "Things to Do Instead of Watching TV." I will post pictures and hopefully you'll get the idea.

Marriages Made in Heaven

2009-04-30T07:23:00.000-07:00

A respected mentor of mine has said, "There are no marriages made in heaven." Which I take to mean that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. We are all human and with that comes flaws--and I get that.

But after reading Trisha's post from the other day, it got me to thinking. I know my wife isn't perfect--and we're both working on not expecting that from ourselves or each other. But on the other hand, here's my list of why Trisha is perfect for me...

She sees life from a totally different perspective. Yes, this leads to conflict. But I'm never bored with her. I'm actually fascinated by her in really surprising ways. For instance, why anyone would want to do crafts that involve glue, paint, small rolling thingees with young kids is shocking. Yes, they have a great time. But why would anyone want to deal with that mess? But that's my wife! And my kids adore her! The other night Elijah cried because we ran out of time to do a craft before bedtime. I love the way they love her -- living her life from a viewpoint miles away from mine.

Another reason Trisha is perfect for me is this: she's deep. She loves Jesus and struggles to know and understand God more every day. As crazy and silly as I can be, I love to know what's going on with her. I love to hear her pray. I love to read her notes to me--her words are heavy in my life! They reach deep into my heart. Especially when I've hurt her, it tears me up more than I can show. But at the end of the day, her depth of character and faith is like an anchor in the storms of life. God abides in her--and that is beautiful!

Trisha is perfect for me because she loves Jesus. This is why she pours so much into young children--she's serving the King! Last night was the end of Kingdom Kids Club--a teaching/worship time for kids that Trisha started and lead all year. It was a really big deal! The kids had been working on memorizing scripture and could make $1 per verse they learned. I had no idea what to expect--but I should have known. My son walked away with $21 & my younger daughter with $12. But more than making money--which was a fun way to encourage them--the last few days our car ride has been full of saying scriptures that they've learned by heart. Of course, I embellish with jingles and silly tunes--but we had fun getting God's word deep into our heart. And that's because my wife loves Jesus!

Other reasons my wife is perfect for me.....
her eyes are beautiful
her smile captivates me!
she loves me deeply.
she throws the world's best parties--and I LOVE to party:-)
she is patient
she is kind
she forgives...long before she's asked to
she is potty training a puppy
she is potty training our daughter!....simultaneously!
she is dedicated to doing good even if no one else encourages her to do so
she can make anything out of anything!
she is honest with me
she is an amazing leader and servant
she is creative and loves fresh ideas
she will tell me what she thinks
she likes for me to hold her
she makes the perfect cup of coffee (and unbelievable chocolate cakes!!)
she cares deeply about her neighbors
she gives generously
she is still growing as a follower of Jesus
she is a woman worthy of my respect and admiration!!

I know marriages aren't made in heaven! But I love my life with Trisha. I'm proud to be her husband and the father of her children! Thanks for being perfect for me sweetheart! bw

Quote of the day

2009-04-23T22:57:00.001-07:00

"Nothing would be done at all if one waited until one could do it so well that no one could find fault with it." John Henry Newman

I recently read that being a perfectionist is a weakness, not a strength. Offended as I was at this, I have come to agree. "Discouraged perfectionist" is Kevin Leman's word for me. I can't even begin to count the number of unfinished projects and tasks in my life. All because I get frozen by the need to do it just right. AGH! Now to figure out what to do about this awareness!

Roots 1 (Things You Never Want to hear your Dentist say!)

2009-02-26T20:21:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, after getting X-rays of my teeth, my Dentist said something to me that I'll never forget.

He held the x-ray up to his light and exclaimed, "Ben, never get a root canal!! You have the longest roots I have ever seen!" I nervously laughed and asked God to be merciful and spare me that fate.

Well, a few months ago I had some work done on my teeth and had a crack filled. Everything seemed to be fine--but a few weeks later I began to notice the filled tooth had a lot of sensitivity. So I went back into my new Dentist and he looked at what was going on and he delivered this message: you may need a root canal.

He couldn't know for sure, so I went back to see him today. After showing me the tooth, he advised we wait another month before we decide to do anything.

Soooo, I'm still begging God to spare me a root canal and hope that the nerves in my tooth mellow out!!

Alex and Abe

2009-02-25T20:22:00.001-08:00

Today Alex brought home a book about Abe Lincoln for a project. As he read, he put the book down and said, "See? He IS just like me!" Of course I wondered what specific characteristic of old Abe struck such an emotional chord in my son. "He loved animals and would NEVER hurt them." (Bet you didn't know that!) Then Alex told that Abe had to kill a turkey once, but said he could never do it again. As he spoke, he actually got got teary and choked up. A few minutes later he told me that he walked across an ice pond (or something like that) just to rescue a dog. He was so impressed! Nevermind that he brought an end to slavery, etc. While my heart prays that Alex will love people's souls more than he loves dogs, I love his tender heart. And I guess Abe Lincoln isn't such a bad role model for him to admire!

Joy

2009-02-25T09:55:00.000-08:00

Joy is listening to my sweet Elijah sing his very own song:

"I love my family! I love my mom, I love my dad. I love my sisters and my brother.
And I love Jesus.

My mom loves me, my dad loves me, Katy loves me, Alex loves me, Olivie loves me, and Jesus loves me the most!"

On and on, swinging away in the backyard. THAT is pure joy!

And oh, how I am blessed by it!

And one more...

2009-02-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

I have to post this because someday I'll forget it. If I had a baby book for Elijah, I'd write it there. Sadly, he's going to have to look in my blog archives someday....

Anyway, I overheard him early this morning after his first interaction with baby sister. "Hey God! (as if he's on the phone) I would like it if you would take Olivia up to heaven today."

I don't think he was wishing her ill, just needed a break from the intensity. What better arrangement than for her to have a little visit up there while he plays with his toys uninterrupted?

I knew this day was coming

2009-02-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

So I went to a Children's Pastor's Conference and attended a class on purity, which freaked me out when I realize my 9-year old boy was ready to know some stuff....(Daddy had a conversation with him awhile ago but he didn't really need to know much.)

So tonight we started a new family activity--reading our Bibles together after supper. We started in Matthew. Alex, my proficient reader, was fascinated. Every few minutes he just had to share.

So he says, "Mom, listen to this! 'So he had no se..ual relations with her until she gave birth to a son.' I didn't know that!" Calm as can be.

I gather my wits and say, "Do you know what that means?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I?" Oh. My. Here it comes. Right in the middle of our first Family Bible Reading Night. Why on earth did we think it was a good idea to read our Bibles????

I calmly ask, "So, what does it mean?"

"Like they never went on dates and stuff. Of course I know what it means. I have a very good vocabulary for a 9-year old." After a few more questions confirming that in his precious, innocent mind "se..ual relations" really just means dates and stuff, I breathe a sigh of relief.

You see, at the conference they told me that we his parents must be the first to share all that information with our son. Some kids already know by his age. I ordered all the books we need, but they won't arrive for a few weeks. Maybe we have a little more time. Oh, Lord! Give us wisdom and grace to share this delicate treasure of life with him.

The most precious part comes at bedtime. Alex says he has no idea how interesting just reading his Bible would be. He wants to spend the whole day reading it tomorrow. Thank You, Lord. May his heart grow closer to You as he reads the life-giving words from his Bible. What an honor to be his mom.

Oops!

2009-02-02T19:29:00.001-08:00

Maybe I shouldn't say this on the worldwide web, but today I got a chance to watch the local news story about President Bush's visit. Remember I told you that we stood right next to Mrs. Watson, Bush's 2nd grade teacher? Well, they interviewed her (how did we miss this???) and there, on the tv screen in the very close-up background was my sweet daughter PICKING HER NOSE. I mean, digging. To protect her dignity, I will not tell you which daughter.

They showed this little snippet twice during the story. Nice.

Oddest Game Ever

2009-01-29T12:52:00.001-08:00

Rick Reilly is one of my favorite writers of all time. He's funny, caring and seems to look out for standing up for good and standing against bad.

This story of his is now my favorite. You can either read it here or go to his website (I hope this isn't stealing!!)

LIFE OF REILLY
There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning.
by Rick Reilly

Melinda Wright
Gainesville State players douse head coach Mark Williams in celebration.

They played the oddest game in high school football history last month down in Grapevine, Texas. It was Grapevine Faith vs. Gainesville State School and everything about it was upside down. For instance, when Gainesville came out to take the field, the Faith fans made a 40-yard spirit line for them to run through.

Did you hear that? The other team's fans? They even made a banner for players to crash through at the end. It said, "Go Tornadoes!" Which is also weird, because Faith is the Lions.

"I WOULDN'T EXPECT ANOTHER PARENT TO TELL SOMEBODY TO HIT THEIR KIDS. BUT THEY WANTED US TO!"

It was rivers running uphill and cats petting dogs. More than 200 Faith fans sat on the Gainesville side and kept cheering the Gainesville players on—by name.

"I never in my life thought I'd hear people cheering for us to hit their kids," recalls Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker, Isaiah. "I wouldn't expect another parent to tell somebody to hit their kids. But they wanted us to!"

And even though Faith walloped them 33-14, the Gainesville kids were so happy that after the game they gave head coach Mark Williams a sideline squirt-bottle shower like he'd just won state. Gotta be the first Gatorade bath in history for an 0-9 coach.

But then you saw the 12 uniformed officers escorting the 14 Gainesville players off the field and two and two started to make four. They lined the players up in groups of five—handcuffs ready in their back pockets—and marched them to the team bus. That's because Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Every game it plays is on the road.
This all started when Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith had never played Gainesville, but he already knew the score. After all, Faith was 7-2 going into the game, Gainesville 0-8 with 2 TDs all year. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents. Gainesville has a lot of kids with convictions for drugs, assault and robbery—many of whose families had disowned them—wearing seven-year-old shoulder pads and ancient helmets.

So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"
And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!

"I thought maybe they were confused," said Alex, a Gainesville lineman (only first names are released by the prison). "They started yelling 'DEE-fense!' when their team had the ball. I said, 'What? Why they cheerin' for us?'"

It was a strange experience for boys who most people cross the street to avoid. "We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals. But these people, they were yellin' for us! By our names!"

Maybe it figures that Gainesville played better than it had all season, scoring the game's last two touchdowns. Of course, this might be because Hogan put his third-string nose guard at safety and his third-string cornerback at defensive end. Still.
After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray and that's when Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "Lord, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."
And it was a good thing everybody's heads were bowed because they might've seen Hogan wiping away tears.
As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.

The Gainesville coach saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

And as the bus pulled away, all the Gainesville players crammed to one side and pressed their hands to the window, staring at these people they'd never met before, watching their waves and smiles disappearing into the night.

Anyway, with the economy six feet under and Christmas running on about three and a half reindeer, it's nice to know that one of the best presents you can give is still absolutely free.

Hope.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

Unattainable II

2009-01-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

I have no idea what Trisha has been reading, but on this side of the cookies & homemade bread--I was blessed! The kids loved the cookies. Olivia had so much chocolate on her I had to wash her hands twice--that's my girl!! Lots of smiles and stories we got to share around those cookies!

The dinner was great too! Healthy--with fresh veggies! And the bread was to die for! I just love the smells that lingered all night through our house. Amazing!!

All from my sweet wife who loves me and our kids in a beautiful way! Thanks Trisha for trying for the unattainable!! I love my life with you and our kids!

Unattainable

2009-01-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was determined to be SuperMom. I had read some blogs the night before that painted a picture of home and hearth, warm, cozy days spent nurturing precious children and creating beautiful memories along the way.

I want to create beautiful memories for my precious ones, so I decided yesterday would be the beginning. I'm sure I went about it all wrong, but I really didn't think my goals were too lofty--cookie baking, warm homemade bread to go with our fabulous Italian dinner. Creating fun moments of nurture.

So after preschool, the little ones and I began assembling the ingredients for "Choc-Oat Chip Cookies", a little healthy and a lot yummy. As I walked to the fridge to get the eggs, sweet Elijah decided to punch a hole through the top of the oats (still sealed shut). Crash! Down went the jar of alfredo sauce intended for dinner (I'd been so proactive to already have it by the stove!) Shards of glass and slimy sauce from one end of the kitchen to the other, covering stool legs, cabinets and appliances.

I began having terrible visions of the new puppy enjoying the yummy sauce, cutting her tongue and bleeding to death. "Elijah, grab the dog and contain her!" (a hard task for a 4-year old). "Olivia, out of the kitchen!" The next 20 minutes I spent scooping, sweeping, mopping, sweeping again, vacuuming the corners. Somewhere in there the big kids and Dad arrived. Elijah yelled, "Surprise! We have cookies!" Only what we had was a pile of glass and sauce and a half-finished batch of dough in the mixer.

By the time the cookies were finished and ready to enjoy, all my dreams of SuperMom-ness were shattered.

The moral of this story: Quit reading blogs written by SuperMoms. They must have something I don't have...or they're not telling the whole truth.

An Unforgettable Night!

2009-01-20T21:44:00.001-08:00

At the welcome home party for George W. Bush tonight I was truly blessed. It was a night I'll never forget--and I hope my kids never forget. Through a series of simple events, we got bumped from white (general admission) to red (VIP admission) and then to blue (event level admission) and were able to sit in the handicap section with our stroller & kids. We had a great view and were just blessed by getting to be near such an amazing person.

It is truly amazing to hear George Bush talk about what matters to him--and to hear his fondness for his wife and parents and the people of America--just so great!!

Here's a picture, and a link for more!!
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30157915&id=1523289963&ref=mf

Presidential thoughts

2009-01-19T22:08:00.000-08:00

Our democracy is amazing. Tomorrow will be an unforgettable day. My prayers are with our new President that God will give him wisdom in his new job. I like the fact that he's asked Rick Warren to say his prayer--that's cool.

I'm also fired up about seeing George W. Bush in Midland tomorrow. It's going to be one big crazy party. My whole family is going--and although it will be crowded, I hope my kids enjoy being part of the historic moment. Maybe I'll get a decent picture?

Quote of the Day

2009-01-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

I watched a video marking the 1 year anniversary of a young woman named Lygon Stevens, who died last year in an avalanche. She and her brother were together doing one of their favorite things--climbing, and her brother survived. After her death her family found several journals full of her thoughts and discovered she was a gifted writer and clearly had a deeper relationship with the Lord than they even knew. When her brother was interviewed by a Denver TV station just a few days ago, he said he has decided to change the question from "Why?" He said, "I'm gonna seek who You are until I'm no longer offended by what You've done."

Word for the Year

2009-01-09T21:30:00.000-08:00

I ran across a blog that asked readers to share their "theme word" for the year. I realized that I have already been doing that for a few years now. In 2005-6 my theme was "believe". Then in 2007 it was Prov. 3:5-6 (not a word--a verse, I know). Last year it was "Joy".

As I reflect on these themes it's delightful to realize that God has grown me in these areas. Not to perfection, but I'm making progress.

So I've been praying about a theme God might want to grow in me this year and have finally settled on "FOCUS". For the last few years, I have felt scattered in my thinking. The woman who used to be able to sit down and make lists to complete projects and get things done--has been frozen! In light of the things God has been doing in our family in recent months and the many changes ahead for us, I'm praying that God will teach me to focus on what is important.

So if you were to consider a "theme" word or phrase or verse for 2009, what would it be? I'd love to know!

A Grief Observed

2009-01-02T22:00:00.001-08:00

Tonight someone you know is crying themselves to sleep. Someone you care about is hurting more deeply than you can imagine.

Tonight my heart has taken a roller coaster ride as I read through some of my family's blogs. From absolute joy and gratitude as many of my family members celebrate their marriages at this time of year (happy anniversary to all...) to absolute sadness over the pain of loss, especially the loss of our sweet nephew Connor. When our family is together, thoughts of him always come to the surface. He loved being with our family and he is missed every time we are together.

We attended 2 funerals during our Christmas vacation. Both were people we didn't know well, but whose families we love very much. We stood at the grave of a dear man who died too early to enjoy his grandkids, and I know his dear wife misses him deeply.

We are deeply saddened by news of hurting marriages, cancer, and all that is wrong in the world.

In this season of tremendous joy, tonight I am praying for so many I love whose hearts are heavy. May the God of all comfort fill your heart with peace tonight. I'm thankful for the hope we have for wonderful reunions someday, even for the pain that holds the memories of people we love close to our hearts.

I'm so richly blessed to share life with all my hurting family and friends. God is still good, all the time. I will have to post happier thoughts later. Many, many happy things have been going on too!

2008-12-15T06:11:00.000-08:00

Last night we had a Pajama Party at church. We invited all our friends from Harvest Party for an evening of games, crafts, smores by the campfire, pictures with Santa and of course the Christmas story. We had "Family Fondue" with homemade cheese fondue and chocolate sauce (which Alex made) along with all sorts of finger/dipping foods. I had no idea what to expect (we had 1 RSVP), but planned for about 100-150 people. We think we had somewhere in the range of 200, and many of them were from the community.

Besides the marshmallows-on-the-carpet game disaster, my only regret was not planning enough time for us to actually do a pageant. I decided not to do our formal pageant this year and opted for the party because it seemed more visitor-friendly. That was certainly true, but I missed our kids dressing up and telling the story.

We did a little musical program during Sunday morning worship, which was sweet, and we were able to include about 15 first-time visitors in that since it wasn't a big, polished program. It's hard sometimes to discern what will be most effective in reaching people for Jesus. As I sat and watched those 15 new kids on our stage, singing along and trying to do the hand motions, it was worth the lack of polish. ALL those kids returned for the party last night, plus a bunch from the community.

Last night was my last official activity as the children's minister at New Life. I'm trying really hard not to be sad about that. I have enjoyed serving our church in that way and it's hard to imagine not being in the middle of everything at this time next year. I trust that the Lord has a plan that will be good for our family and for New Life.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling the post-event elation/analyzation/exhaustion feelings I always feel after a big "God-party" as Alex called it. The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!!!

2008-12-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

We get home from school today and Elijah says, "AGH! I have so much to do!" (in a passionate voice that sounds like maybe he heard that from an adult somewhere...) I ask him what he had to do and he says, "Put away my backpack. I guess that's all. And help you." Such an intense amount of responsibility for such a small child.

They clapped!

2008-11-16T20:49:00.000-08:00

Well, we have big news. For the saake of simplicity (and sleep), I'm going to post here the letter we read to our church today. Then I'll tell you a little more.

"We have always said that we want to be the kind of people who would go wherever God would lead us and we believe He's leading us to a new ministry opportunity. I have been given a unique opportunity that fits Trisha's & my gifts and passions. I have been asked to lead the Unlock Ministry team. We see this as the chance of a lifetime because it lines up with my heart for equipping young leaders to change the world and Trisha¹s heart for ministering to under-served kids. As we have prayed and asked God for direction, it seems hard to deny that He is saying "yes" at every turn.

I will primarily be responsible for planning and leading Opportunity Camp and all its programs throughout the year, as well as continuing to help start First Priority clubs in Odessa and Midland. This means that I must step down from my post as a full time Minister at New Life. It also means that Trisha needs to step back from her role as the Children¹s Minister.

The good news is that, although we won't be on full-time staff, we are not leaving New Life as our church home. I will continue leading worship part-time, leading our LifeGroup and helping with Oasis, at least through May. Trisha will continue teaching and leading Kingdom Kids Club.

We want to make it very clear that we love this church. It's incredible to
think back almost 4 years ago when we met Tim and Melinda. We asked God to plant a church in Odessa--and 4 years later, look what He has done!! What an awesome journey!

It has been an honor to give our lives to God's work here, and we are proud to be associated with the Halsteads. We believe as strongly as ever that He chose Tim and Melinda to lead us. We love and respect them deeply. They have sacrificed in countless ways to grow this church. And they have blessed us beyond what we could have imagined in their response to this new opportunity for us. We are so grateful for their grace to us. They need your prayers and support more than ever!

We also believe that God can change the world through young people. The ministry to teens and kids that happens here at New Life is vitally important, and it needs to continue to be a high priority. Some of you are going to be needed vitally to step up and help in ways you might not have done before. Please pray about what God is putting on your heart to do--just
say yes to whatever He asks. He¹ll show you the how, just be obedient to
Him! This transition doesn't scare God in the least. He will be faithful to what He has started here!

The last thing we want to say is Thank You! Thank you for being our family!
Thank you for loving us and our kids! Thank you for working alongside us in the Kingdom, and for the support so many of you have already expressed as we try to follow God as a family. Thank you for your ongoing prayers support of us and this church. We love you!"

So there you go! When Ben finished reading the letter (which didn't surprise many because we've spent the week telling almost everyone at New Life), they actually gave us a standing ovation. That, my friends, is the goodness of the Lord. It is grace we don't deserve. Tim (our senior pastor) stood and said some very affirming things to us, emphasizing that we are being "sent" to do this new ministry, multiplying the work of our church, and that we will have lots of opportunity to partner Unlock ministry with New Life, especially using our facility.

We are in the midst of a HUGE transition for our family. We're venturing outside the world of local church ministry and it's a little frightening to me, because I've gotten pretty comfortable in my identity as "minister's wife." Our life has revolved around church work for as long as we've known each other. We love our partners Tim and Melinda and they are the ones who will feel the loss. So I grieve losing that partnership, at least in the way we have shared life together for the last 3 1/2 years.

But here's what I love. God has shown Himself faithful already. I'm feeling more peaceful each day as I see Him put things in place to provide for New Life. Already Backyard Buddies summer program and Harvest Party, my two biggest events, have someone willing to help lead them.

And I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about pouring our hearts into the kids at Unlock. If you know me well at all, you know that God has put this love in my heart and I can't wait to see how He works all this out! (I know, it's not ME who's taking on the job, but I have a feeling I'll find ways to serve in it:)

AND, one woman after church kept asking me, "So, what will YOU be doing???" I said, "Well, uh, I'm going to be supporting Ben in his ministry. blah blah blah" But she wasn't satisfied, and asked again, "What is it you will be DOING?" "Well, I guess I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom." She raised her arms in the air and said, "YES!!!" Again, confirmation from God that choosing this for my family is not shirking my duty, but fulfilling it.

I ramble on, but just want to testify to the goodness and power of my God. He is so smart, so loving, so faithful, so utterly amazing! May you find that to be true today too!

How about a Wall/Wall ticket in 2036?

2008-11-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

My kids have decided they would make a great team to run for President/Vice President. They will be eligible in 2036. The agenda they will push will be:

No killing.
No stealing.
Everyone needs to love Jesus.
No smoking.

That's it--simple, clear and bold. What do you think?

(Sorry--I know this is a mood shift from the last post, but we need some levity around here.)

A Heart that Hurts

2008-11-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

I would like to tell you what God is up to in my life, but sometimes I really don't know. I just trust that the pain He's walked me through will be redeemed somehow.

I'm not really sure why I feel compelled to right this right now, but I just need to express some things that have been on my heart for years but haven't known how to get out. I guess they are like broken shards of glass in my soul, and they need to be shared.

The worst moment of my life happened about this week, 5 years ago. After dealing with infertility for years, we now had 2 beautiful kids and a 3rd on the way. I was finally getting into the groove of being excited with Trisha about our pregnancy. I had made a 40 week calendar with pictures & details of what the child looked like and key facts about its development each week. That calendar had taken a lot of time to create, and I was so proud to give it to Trisha for her birthday. We were so happy looking forward to meeting this baby!

After 14 weeks of being sick all day, Trisha finally turned a corner and felt great. On this particular day, 18 weeks along, it was Friday, my day off and so I stayed home with Alex & Katy and let them sleep in. It was the first doctor's s appointment that I skipped, and I regret not going with Trisha to this day. I still remember her phone call to me after the first ultrasound (which is done with a simple, crude almost device) begging me to pray--they couldn't find a heartbeat and were moving her into a room with a high powered ultrasound machine. Her voice trembled. My heart sank. My stomach recoiled. I prayed. I cried. I gathered Alex & Katy around me and we prayed. We began getting our stuff together--I knew I had to get up to the doctor's office immediately! A few minutes later she called back, weeping. My heart couldn't bear it. My wife was crushed and I wasn't even with her!! How alone she must have felt!! What kind of lame husband doesn't go to the doctor with his wife, my internal voice screamed!

So I threw the kids in the car and rushed like a madman to get her. I will never forget seeing her weeping out in front of that building. I ran to her and just wept with her. I had no idea what to do--but my heart was so hurt, so crushed about this new reality that was smashing my heart and Trisha's! We were powerless in its wake. And the sorrow came in like waves. But it was different for me than it was for Trisha. I was sad, but she had been bonding with this baby for several months and now held her unborn child in her body.

I still have no real way to know what a pregnant mother feels in those moments. I know what it's like to hold the woman I love in my arms as she weeps. Trying to say something and then feeling like an idiot when I'm foolish enough to do that (which seems to often it seems--sorry, sweetheart!). Trisha, for what it's worth, I love you and am sorry for that great loss that we've shared together. I'm sorry for not remembering this week more consistently--and I hope that my calendering is accurate.

I love you, and I guess that's all I'm trying to say. What you feel matters to me, even if I don't know how to say it or show it. I'm so glad we're in this together, heart and soul. I'm praying for you today--that God will continue to heal our hurting hearts.

P.S.--A few weeks later they had to take the baby. We were told that the procedure would be such that we wouldn't be able to identify the gender. However, our doctor was able to find out that we were expecting a baby girl. We named her Hope Victoria Wall, because someday we'll get to see her when our hope in God is a crowning victory over sin and death. Until then sweetheart, snuggle-buggle Jesus for a few years--He's the best there is at comforting the broken hearted!

Harvest Party Pix!!

2008-11-04T07:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm just going to post all of these pix because I can't decide which I like best!!

Food for Thought

2008-11-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

There's a book that I keep going back to again and again as I seek to be a leader who people can trust--it's called: "Integrity: the courage to meet the demands of reality" by Henry Cloud.

In the book he talks about developing 6 core competencies in becoming a leader that is whole--or in my words, undivided! I must confess that I haven't even read the whole book yet--but it's already helping me get a perspective on reality and what I need to change to become a leader that completely integrates my hopes, beliefs and actions.

So tonight I begin in my bedroom--to love my wife like Christ loved the church so she would be holy (undivided, integrated, complete). Lord knows I've got a lot of growing to do in this area! bw

Vote!

2008-10-27T20:31:00.001-07:00

I got a lump in my throat today when I walked out of my voting booth. Maybe because I feel tense about the outcome of this election.

Really though, I think I got emotional because I got to vote and it made me thankful to be an American. In some tiny little way, I have a voice in decisions that affect the entire world. I loved the democratic process.

So if you haven't already voted already, please go! And may the best man win!

Tagged

2008-10-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

My sister April tagged me with this...

Here are the rules: Grab the nearest book. Open the book to page 56. Find the fifth sentence. Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your blog along with these instructions. Do not dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Tag five other people to do the same.

So here it is, from Philip Gulley's newest book "I Love You, Miss Huddleston", loaned to me by a friend whose brother-in-law is Gulley's agent. It's the "Uncorrected Proof."

"Everyone in town was related to us, connected by generations of liaisons, some recognized by the church, others not. Feuds from the 1920s were as fresh as yesterday.
"Your great-grandmother Gulley and your great-grandmother Mackey had a fistfight there," my great-uncle Johnny told me, some fifty years later, pointing to a spot in the street. "I was six years old, and Mrs. Gulley had a new electric washer and yelled across the street to Mrs. Mackey that she was too poor to have an electric washer. They met right there in the middle of the street, slapping and scratching and pulling hair."
Decades later, he was still embarrassed by it. "But we don't talk about it," he said.

Oh, how I pray that decades later my children won't be sharing stories of my foolishness with embarrassment! I'm supposed to tag people. Jana, Anda, Cheryl, Cherise--what are you reading these days?

Dear Sir or Madam

2008-10-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

who chose to spend your time creating a virus and sending it to my Inbox,
You are very mean (and clever, I suppose), and you have really complicated my life. Why do you think it's fun to destroy things that matter to other people? Do you know that the pictures of my children that were stored on my computer were precious to me? Do you know that the documents there were created to help make the world a better place--to teach children about Jesus who loves them with an everlasting love? Do you know that the emails I have been writing and receiving were about things that mattered, at least some of them? I realize that these things are not important to you, but they are to me.

You must have a very empty life, and you need the love of Jesus. So if you are reading this please know that I'm praying for you. Find someone who knows Jesus and ask them to tell you what a life that is full and meaningful feels like. I promise you won't regret it.

Hello out there!

2008-10-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

I have been distracted by a 2-week headache that is finally gone tonight! Praise God!!! That and a new fascination with Facebook.

Anyway, I'm working on plans for the weekend and wondering about you, Jana A. Call or email me, friend!

Meanwhile, highlights of the last few days...
Elijah got new tennis shoes today. You would have thought I'd bought him a Mustang or something. I just love his enthusiasm for life. Most days I hear "Mom, this is the best day EVER!" for some fun reason--the discovery of caterpillars at the church or dad taking him outside to ride bikes or whatever. Love it!

Alex reading. He is a great reader, but not terribly motivated by the AR system at school. It is finally becoming clear to me that I have to get on him about this, so I told him he had to read at least 30 minutes today. He picked up "Nim's Island" and started reading. I had to let him stay up a few minutes past bedtime to finish the last few pages. I kept hearing laughter and comments about differences from the movie. It was fun to observe my big kid loving a good book!

Olivia threw up for a few hours last night. That wasn't fun, but it was sure sweet cuddling her in between. She's a preschool drop-out and I'm loving having her home to myself a few hours a week.

Katy and Alex and I spent an hour at the Christmas store a few days ago. They thoroughly enjoyed thinking about the season that's upon us! I love it!

Ben got to go to LA for a Dodger game last weekend. Spur of the moment fun for him to be with our dear friends. He needed something fun!

Oops!

2008-10-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

I spent a very long time the other night writing about my experience meeting our President, then when I went to save it my computer freaked out. I apparently have a virus given to me by an email that came from "ups" telling me that a package I had mailed didn't get delivered and instructing me to open the file, print it out and take it to the UPS office. UGH!!! I was so mad.

Anyway, I have much to say about our President! For now I'll just say that President Bush is a man of God and I respect him very much. It was a great honor to get to meet him and hear him speak. More later...

Too much stuff

2008-09-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

That's our problem. We have WAY too much stuff. Today a friend came over to play with Katy while I was cleaning out my section of the garage. She said, "Wow, Miss Trisha, you have a lot of stuff. You should give some of it away. No, maybe you should give all of it away." So off Ben went to the local benevolence center we like, and they wouldn't even take it! I don't know why they didn't want my old high chair that has lovingly held 4 babies and all their spills and smeared baby food, oatmeal & spaghetti. It looked perfectly beautiful to me. (Please be proud of me for not keeping it just for the nostalgic value!) Or the rocking horse that was missing his handles. You could still hold onto his ears. What ever happened to creative problem solving? His departure did leave a nice big spot in the garage! Ben finally ended up at Goodwill with a load, but unfortunately we still have WAY too much. I have much more purging to do. And 11 boxes of clothes and stuff to tag for the consignment sale in 2 weeks.

Friend Jana, I found a treasure box of your parents' teaching stuff! How embarrassing that I still have it! Do they still have the same address as they did 5 years ago? I'm going to mail it next week (after I make copies of a few things that will be perfect for Kingdom Kids Club!)

Makeover

2008-09-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

I have had way too much fun playing with our blog tonight. My sister introduced me to the world of free blog layouts. I had no idea it was so easy--I know, I'm slow. Next time Ben's out of town and I don't want to do dishes I will see what I can do with our title. I found a blog that has instructions for how to make your own custom one with pictures and all. Someday...

Anyway, can you read this text on here?

Elijah

2008-09-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

Today Elijah and Olivia were playing outside in the dirt when he came over and said, "Mom, do you know what we are? We're DESTRUCTION workers!" Yes, Elijah and Olivia, that's exactly what you are! And I love you very much.

How to help a kid know God (looking for help here!)

2008-09-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

Last night we started a new program at New Life called Kingdom Kids Club.
Our goal is to help kids fall in love with their Lord through His Word. I believe that if they can get to know God by reading about Him, hiding His Word in their hearts, and exploring the amazing stories in that great Book, it will help them to understand how much He loves them.

I was inspired by a lady I heard at a conference back in March who has "Lamplighters", a program where kids memorize scripture. Because of a need for my own kids to have some positive input on Wednesday nights (the eternal LifeGroup dilemma), I have felt like God was leading me to do something. As usual, I asked God to please find someone else to meet that need, and He wouldn't let me out of it. As I began to talk about it, it grew into a program for all our elementary kids and childcare for all our Wed. night LifeGroups. I've struggled with direction--is just memorizing scripture going to inspire our "unchurched" kids? How do I make them want to keep doing it, etc. I bought a curriculum to use (trying to simplify) and didn't like it at all. It's like Christian Boy Scouts--plenty of creative craft and woodworking ideas, but short on Biblical content. I emailed the lady from the conference, didn't hear back from her. I begged God to give me something, and finally found a Mission Arlington curriculum that is well done and sort of fits with my goal, although it still is going to require a great deal of tweaking.

Right before I walked out the door last night to head to the church building an email dinged on my computer. It was her--the lady from the conference. I just cried. Her email was so encouraging and helpful (although a little to late to help with last night's structure). She told me she had helped plant a church so she understood. She was affirming and gave me all her material for Lamplighters. She's the author of several books (unfortunately none of them about Lamplighters), travels the country speaking about children's ministry, and she took the time to send me all her files. I SO long for mentors, especially in children's ministry & church planting, and she showed up at just the right moment. She will never know how she blessed me.

Anyway, 30 kids showed up last night. 30 precious kids who got really excited about their "swords of the Spirit, which is the Word of God," who sang praises, acted out scripture, and seemed to love being drenched in scripture. So, here are my questions: What are some childhood memories of learning about God's Word--positive ones? How did you come to love God and believe He loves you? I'm looking for any help I can get.

Yeah Linde!

2008-09-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

What a blast we had in Tyler last week at Linde & Jeff's wedding! My first wedding preached at Glenwood--usually I sing a song--but the whole weekend was awesome! I'm so proud of Linde and was honored to be part of her special day.

God bless you guys!! Hope you are home safely from the honeymoon! bw

I love that Katy is looking up to women of God like Linde as she dreams about being a bride one day. Lord, may you be Katy's delight--and may You give her the desires of her heart!

Happy Birthday Trisha

2008-08-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to wish my wife a Happy Birthday!! I've posted a few of my favorite pictures of Trisha from this summer at the following site: http://web.mac.com/newlifeben/Walk_w_Jesus/My_Albums/Pages/Trisha_Favs.html

Trisha, I am so glad to be in your life!! I still believe the best is yet to come!! I hope today is just a start to celebrating your birthday!

Love, bw

Just us...

2008-07-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, while the rest of our extended family adventures all over the world (literally--Brazil, Canada, Paris, Greece, and so on...) here we are in Odessa, living a comparatively boring life. Ben's at Camp Bandina this week. The kids and I have been working on cleaning out bedrooms and setting aside toys and clothes to share with others. We enjoy swimming in our church pool just about every day. We have daily nap/reading time. We watch movies every night. Nothing earth-shattering. But we love to be home together.

My kids are really good at helping with the cleaning process, although I'm not sure they enjoy it. Today Katy said, "Mom, I need to tell you something. I don't really like obeying. I do it because I know that if I don't obey you will spank me, and I don't want a spanking. But I don't really like it." At least she's honest.

I told her that's the kind of obeying that pleases God the most--when we obey with a happy heart even when we don't want to. A good reminder for me today!

To be honest, we did get to go on a wonderful mission trip adventure to California to work with Ben's parents' church in Fillmore. We helped them get ready for their VBS--passing out invitations in the neighborhoods around the church and decorating. The VBS was a huge success, so we're thankful. More than that, though, we're thankful for our time with Ben's family. What a treasure they are!

So, as we pray for safety and blessings for all our adventurous family, we're loving being together, even at home in Odessa.

This is about your Awesomeness, Ben!

2008-06-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Ben,
When I was a young girl I made a list of the qualities I would look for in a husband. Loves God, loyal, trustworthy, likes sports (yes, I'm serious), good with kids, "elder" material.

When I met you I knew you were him! But I could not have imagined what a great joy it would be to watch our children love and be loved by you.

You are an amazing dad. I love the way you love on our kids. You have an incredible combination of tenderness & fun & authority & great stories & gentleness & strength. You are the awesomest!

I love you, Trisha

The Alamo

2008-05-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

This Memorial day weekend has been difficult and wonderful for many reasons you know. It's been hard knowing our family is without Connor, and that a year ago he was with us and was such a blessing in our family. But his loss makes our time with our kids even sweeter--and we thank God for every moment we have together. These pictures are from our trip to the Alamo earlier today. Lots of fun!

Tod & LeeAnne, Bailey, Hutton & Reagan, we're praying for you today. We love you so much!!

Impossible Feats of Skill

2008-05-27T22:02:00.001-07:00

There are some things that are just impossible to do.

Kiss your elbow. Lick your nose (for most of us). Rhyming a word with orange or purple.

But here's another one to add to your list: Getting a nice, natural & happy picture of your kids in front of a scenic area in about 10 seconds before a ton of foreign kids come crashing into your picture frame. Here's my attempt!

Katy Graduates!

2008-05-21T21:42:00.001-07:00

Katy was very excited to graduate from Kindergarten at Midland Christian last Thursday night! I love this picture of Trisha & Katy after the ceremony--we're so proud of you Katy! I was asked to fill in for uncle Tod at the last minute--so I got to be on stage and cheer Katy's tassle being moved! Lot's of fun!

The 2nd picture is of Katy speaking her lines--she really seems to enjoy being in front of people!

I love this last picture with Katy. I am so proud of her. Did I mention that besides her amazing beauty, that she also had a perfect score on a portion of her achievement tests--which we found out at graduation:-).

Jim Parker Little League Champs

2008-05-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today's high: Alex's team won the league championship--7-3. Alex got two great hits, the first of which ended up being a 2-run "homer" as can only happen in 8-year old baseball. (It was a really solid hit, but anything that goes into the outfield tends to get thrown around all over creation.) The second was just as sweet--high over second base and dropped in beautifully. He scored then too. It was 102 degrees outside, and Alex played tough in his full catcher's gear, sun blaring into his face. I really love watching my son play baseball.

A second highlight--When I was putting Elijah to bed, I told him only 3 days left for Alex and Katy to be on summer vacation (a high in itself!), and he said in his most enthusiastic way, "WOW, Mom! That's where Bwyson and Cason and Miss Maurice and Mr. Wave are going!"

I love my kids! (I also love my friends Bryson, Cason, Cherise and Wade.--T)

Storm Baseball

2008-05-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a fantastic baseball season.

Alex has been playing catcher and really been making big strides in catching the ball, throwing and hitting like a monster.

We entered the league tournament in 2nd place (6-1-1) and won tonight--which puts in the league championship next week (woo-hoo!).

Tonight was great, but I've got to tell you about the game last week. We were playing a make-up game to determine if we would enter the tournament as the 1st place team. In a see-saw game that saw us get way behind & then catch up again, we entered the last inning down by two runs. W scored a run but they also got 2 of our batters out. When Alex stepped up to the plate, we had a runner on 3rd base. With two outs and two strikes, Alex swung and made contact with the 41 mph fastball. He hit a pop fly between short & 3rd base--and they missed the ball. The runner scored and we ended up tying the game on Alex's clutch hit! It was a great night!

Yesterday's High

2008-05-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's high was undoubtedly this:

We were sitting at a new restaurant called "Burgers, Fries and Cherry Pies", waiting to inhale all three (it was about 8pm and we were all starving). Katy looked at me thoughtfully and said, "Mom, I think you're kinda skinny. You're not fat." She went on to say that Dad's not really fat either. She's so wonderful!

(We won't feel the need to contextualize and tell you what the people waiting in line right next to our table looked like.)

Joy

2008-05-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

This school year we have developed a little family tradition of giving our highs and lows of each day on the way home from school. What amazes me is that many days, Alex and Katy can't think of any lows, and often the whole day was a high. (Elijah and Olivia aren't quite able to articulate their feelings that specifically yet. "Today I had fun playing soccer" is about as deep as we go.)

Very seldom do we ever get around to asking what Mom's highs and lows were, and it's probably a good thing. Lately I have not seen the joy in my life very clearly--I've been in what baseball (to use the previous posts theme) would call a slump. I could make a very long list of lows and struggle to list a high. But I believe that life in Christ is really supposed to be full of joy, regardless of circumstance.

So today I am choosing joy.

Today's Highs:
*a 2nd grade teacher (not Alex's) telling me that she has never seen Alex without a smile--what a great reputation he's earning!
*seeing the proud face of Tommy, a new believer in our church who spent the day scraping floors in our poolhouse--a job that desperately needed to be done to prepare for summer (and a wedding on June 2!)
*hearing Elijah's sweet gratitude for a Brazilian keychain brought to him by a sweet couple visiting from that country
*meeting Carlos & Amelia, the Brazilian couple who have known my parents for years--and brought personal gifts to every single one their kids and grandkids! What a gracious couple!
*visiting with my aunts, who are just great ladies!
*hearing the highs of each of my kids--winning in Dodgeball, having lots of time with our family, playing, delightful (and very wet) raspberries in my face

How about you? What are your highs?

Baseball game

2008-04-17T21:59:00.001-07:00

Tonight Alex had a very exciting baseball game--close, but we ended up on the winning side! So fun! In the middle of it, Elijah had to go potty. I have a strong aversion to public restrooms--especially the ones at our baseball park, it was almost Alex's turn to bat and the bathroom is too far away to see the game, and he really wanted to go in the grass. So I let him. No big deal, no one noticed (even though his shiny little hiney was in plain view of anyone passing by on the street), and I didn't have to miss the game.

A bit later, a wild weather system blew in and things got a little crazy. Olivia started spinning in circles and giggling every time she felt the wind gust (I know, kinda weird), and Katy went to the car. Right in the middle of a huge play, Katy came to me and said she needed to go potty. I let her go by herself, something I would never do in my right mind, but I was stressed about what was happening on the field and I just nodded my head. As soon as it was over, I left the little ones with Grandma and went to make sure Katy hadn't been abducted. There she came from the wrong direction, walking toward me from behind the same tree Elijah had used. I said, "Wow! How did you get back from the bathroom so fast?" You guessed it--she just went behind the tree. That's my little princess! I won't go into any more detail about exactly how she accomplished the feat...

My kids

2008-04-02T22:45:00.000-07:00

They are just so funny! I don't have much to say, but I can't stand the fact that our blog sits dormant. So I'll indulge...

Alex's newest purchase (actually by daddy): A cup. He is being groomed to be the catcher for his baseball team. He tried it on, then asked Katy to punch him as hard as she could (which she did happily). "See? I can't feel a thing." Oh my.

Olivia's discovery of the week: Her VERY LOUD voice. She spent most of Alex's first game yesterday yelling at him (whom she could see easily as the catcher:), "ALEX!!!" and alternately yelling "DADA!!!" each time Daddy was visible in the dugout.

Elijah's favorite thing to say: "I QUIT!!!" He has a bit of a temper.

Katy's Amelia Bedelia moment today: She was explaining why Jenny wasn't in the class picture. "She wasn't at school that day because her eye was pink."

I love this stuff!

2008-03-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

These are the moments I love. Really, I could not be happier!

Linde was a girl in my youth group who kept reminding me that God answers prayer. In clear ways, her life and faith has inspired me and my wife. Being that she was an amazing babysitter, we got to be close to Linde as she went through High School & college--and we just kept encouraging her to put God first and everything else will be added to your life. Recently, God's been adding to her life in some awesome ways!!

We first met Jeff at a friends wedding and here's my first impression of him: he offered to refill my cup with something to drink. It was a small gesture. Perhaps, insignificant to some. But to me, it was a glimpse into this guys heart. He was unafraid to serve. And I was favorably impressed.

Now, nearly a year later, he asked Linde to marry him--and you know her answer by the smile on her face (and the rock on her hand!). We got to see them a few days after the big moment, and all I can say is that I'm so proud of them. They are two people who love God and are deeply in love with each other--and God is giving them the desire of their heart.

In a few months we'll celebrate their special day in Tyler. It will be a great party. I love this stuff! I think God loves this stuff too!

Irresistible

2008-03-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

I dare you. Really, I dare you to resist smiling at this picture.

Olivia loves to ride around the yard with big brother and I can't stop smiling thinking about watching them go 'round & 'round. It's a simple, pure delight to watch my kids just play together. They don't have to do anything to earn my love, I just love them!

Hmm, it makes me wonder, what's your picture of how God feels about you? Just driving around doing your "normal" busyness--if you haven't ever thought that He couldn't stop smiling at you--then maybe you should. Because you don't have to do a thing for His heart to just delight in you. Like I find my kids to be, so God finds you--irresistible!

Life, with us

2008-02-25T21:49:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that the things that put life in your lungs, are the things that often are closest to the heart of God? This picture just puts air in my lungs because of God's closeness!

Olivia is just warming up to the camera. Elijah is over the top with joy. Katy is sweet, but playing coy. Alex is like, are we done yet?

This picture was taken at our annual Christmas pageant, but it reminds me that where God is, there is life. God's heart is like mine in this moment, "look at these great kids!! Aren't they just a blast!!" I think He's just getting a kick out of the work He's begun in them and I'm just so thankful to be close to it.

MOG's & WOG's

2008-02-18T20:22:00.001-08:00

I love the moments in my kids lives where I get to affirm their passage from being child to becoming an adult. Nowhere is this so clear to me as when they lose a baby tooth and an "adult" tooth starts to break into the gap between their teeth. I love telling Alex, and now Katy, how great it is to watch them become a MOG (man of God) & a WOG (woman of God). I love watching them beam a snaggle-tooth grin knowing that God will bring beautiful order out of this painful, messy, slow-moving process! It kind of gives me hope that God's not done with me either!

One Great Brother!

2008-02-17T20:48:00.000-08:00

Alex is just loving reading these days. A voracious reader, he now has a captive audience in Olivia--who just loves her big bro. I'm just loving right now!

Re-do Me

2008-02-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Ok, I re-took the "what time are you" quiz and think I answered it better. Mom, I've always told you I wasn't a great test taker!

I can't believe I did this!

2008-02-11T21:47:00.000-08:00

This is without a doubt the dumbest thing I've done all day. I still don't really believe this is true--many of the answers I would have given were not even options. But I'm not bitter.

Can you say wow!

2008-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, multiple posts & pix in 1 day!! I love this picture of my kids--but especially of my wife Trisha. She's not the kind to want the spotlight, but every time I look at this picture I think, "That's me right there. How blessed I am to be part of this God story!?" So glad to have you blogging with me!

It is an honor and a privilege

2008-02-10T21:58:00.000-08:00

My husband has officially invited me to join him on this blog. I think it's very generous of him! I don't know that I have anything profound to add, but I'm happy to be here with him. He is, after all, my very favorite!

Olivia & Spaghetti!

2008-02-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

Olivia really enjoyed Mommy's spaghetti recently. I just love this look in her eyes like she's thinking, "Yeah, I know this is really a cute look on me!"

This is fun!

2008-02-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, check out this link to some fun pix of my family: http://web.mac.com/newlifeben

At least the posting is more recent than last August, eh?!

Well-spring of joy

2007-08-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

So what encourages your heart when your discouraged, fearful, or sad? I'm not a Doctor, but my family is the best God-given therapy I've got, a virtual well-spring of joy in my life.

They're laughter and exuberance completely floods my heart with joy. Olivia's laugh when she gets a "zurbert". Elijah's scream & hug when I walk in from the office. Katy's sweet, "I love you daddy" at random moments throughout the day. Alex's big tackles whenever he can catch me off guard (one of these days he just may destroy me with one of those!). Trisha's sweet smile and warm embraces--how could I ask for more?

Lord, thank you for the gift of people in my life. Thank you for friends far and near. Make the people in our lives like a well-spring of joy. May we see Jesus in them as we are refreshed by their presence. Amen!

Sweet kids

2007-06-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

Elijah loves kissing Olivia. I mean, like 10 times in a row. Sweet, wet, oozy kisses. He's just hillarious! Thank God for sweet kisses!

Joining Connor--at the house

2007-06-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law Tod was speaking to some graduates recently. At the end of his speech he described what happens after a typical church event where there were 4 cars for 6 people. They huddle up, make their plan and then said, "See you at the house."

Since the commencement ceremony was a similar "huddle" before sending everyone away--he encouraged the HS grads by sharing this story and then saying to them, "See you at the house" at the close of his speech.

As I left for work yesterday, my son Alex, smiled and said, "See you at the house."

This morning, I read a passage from Psalm 84: "Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you."

This morning, I'm going to join Connor in the praise of the King of kings. This morning I'm going to sing with a voice that still gets choked up in sorrow. I'm going to sing "Blessed be Your name" even when no one else can hear it.

Lord, lift us from our sadness. Draw us in Your tenderness and mercy. Comfort the hurting. Protect the weak. Restore the fallen. Renew the broken. Hear my cry for help. Redeem my tears. Don't turn away now, not when I need You most. Please Lord, who have I in heaven but You? Selah

A Heart Grieves

2007-06-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

The sadness isn't lifting.

I want to escape it. Runaway. Somehow pretend that this will go away.

I want to reach out to my in-laws but don't want to bother them. I mean, what do you say, "Hey Tod, this is Ben. I'm really sad today." How does that help anyone? I hate answering my phone right now.

I got up early today. Had a good time with God--but was consumed by grief. I still don't want to believe my eyes.

I saw the body laid in the dirt--and I hated it. I hate that God has done this.

I disagree with what you're doing Lord. But You have made the decision Father. You have taken Connor home. You have left this hole in my heart--in my family's heart--and I'm just feeling exhausted and lost.

Lord, bring Your presence to Tod's house today. Bring peace, hope and faith in abundance. I can't see my way out of this. Don't ignore my prayer Jesus. I have no one else to turn to but You. You alone can mend these wounds. Just say "yes"--that's all I need. I need my Creator today.

A Heart Grieves

2007-05-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to start.

Many of you have heard the terrible news and have already begun praying for God's comfort and healing presence for Tod's family. Many of you have already made the trip to San Angelo to be with us, to weep with us and to help bear the immense pain that the Brown family is in.

I can barely write. What should I say? Words fail me. God will not.

For more info, go to www.gcrcc.org or www.caringbridge.org/visit/todbrownfamily

To send the family a card, please mail to:
Golf Course Road Church of Christ
Attn: Tod Brown family
3500 W. Golf Course Rd
Midland, TX 79703

Thanks again for your prayers and love. It means so much.

Please Pray

2007-05-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

Kaleb Higdin is a yong man that's been coming to our Wednesday night devotional we call "Oasis" this past year. He's a normal kid. Loves football (requisite in Odessa, TX) paintball, ty-kwan-do (so shoot me for the mis-spelling:-) and playing video games. He's fun to be with. He's always got a story. In a word, he's loveable. He's got lots of friends. He comes from a neat family.

He was at school yesterday morning trying to finish his finals when he was brutally interrupted. He was told that his oldest brother, Chris, who was fighting in Iraq, was killed. Apparently, his vehicle ran over an explosive device killing Chris (who was driving), a co-pilate and nearly killing a 3rd soldier. The third soldier lost a leg.

When I found out, the news made my gut wrench. Two families that I know and love lost a son within a few days of each other. My heart breaks for them.

If you're reading this blog, would you pray for them today? Ask God to bring them comfort and to be near them! I'll be seeing Kaleb again today, hoping to just "be there" with him.

Thanks for your prayers.

American Idol

2007-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I knew Jordin would win. She has an incredible voice--but the best singer didn't win American Idol--again.

Melinda Doolittle is the best singer of this year's class. I'm guessing she didn't have enough of the teen vote--but where can I find the demographic of who votes for the singers? Last year it was Chris Daughtry that was the man--but didn't win the title. Disagree? How else to explain that his album sold 3x as many copies as last year's winner. Carrie Underwood was the real deal and actually put it all together two seasons ago--although she was more of a singer than performer.

Oh well. My favorite was Blake. He had such a playful spirit and was fun to watch. Granted, the beat boxing could get overplayed, but I think he rocked it. I'll be curious to see what kind of album he makes and who he gets to join him. He's obviously got some seriously untapped connections with Hip-Hop-- and he could make Hip-Hop more mainstream.

So now that Idol & Survivor have run their course, what else is there? Oh yeah, I think I need to read a book to restore some of the brain cells I lost from watching my favorite shows this spring!

Favorite TV Shows

2007-05-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

What's your favorite TV show these days?

I've got a couple. American Idol & Survivor--and Survivor just about drives me off the deep end every few seasons. Don't get me wrong, I love the show--but the good guy doesn't win enough.

This season was particularly troublesome. A Christian betrayed his word--and tried to hide behind the lie that "Survivor is just a game". The guy, "Dreamz", was given a $60,000 gift in exchange for a vote. And then he went back on his word but claimed to just be playing the game. No one believed him. The entire jury gave the winner the first unanimous decision ever in the show's history.

I have all kinds of things that I could say about how angry I am at this injustice. Then, I think a little deeper. How amazing Jesus is to still embrace me when I betray him and hide behind my weak excuses.

Thank you Lord for Your mercy. Help me give it as freely to others as you give it to me!

How's Your Heart?

2007-05-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4.23
I like this verse. It strikes me hard because I'm looking to find life and live life to the full. Nothing less will do. I'm not satisfied with who I am--even though I could say that I love my life and am happy.

It's just that I want more. I want a heart that is well protected and ready to give life giving water. Imagine this, you need refreshment for your life, where do you turn? Where is the source of finding life when you're warn out and overwhelmed by the crisis you face?

The heart.

It feels. It hopes. It loves. It believes. It's like it has a logic that logic can not understand.

I like the sound of a life that is there for the taking. Like cool well water that's ready to be claimed and chugged and enjoyed with a big, "Aaaaahhhhh", on a hot summer day. That sounds like something I want in my life.

I'm just not sure how to do this, really. I mean, what gets into my heart? What am I trying to fight off? Why do I need to protect my heart like one protects a bank or sacred treasure?

Off the cuff, I think I need to guard my heart against doubt. Doubt is like a poison in the well. It's like a bad voice in your head that whispers to my subconscious, "You won't succeed at this. What are you doing? Good luck with all that!"

Ok Lord, protect my heart today, ok? Would you be my patrol, my shield & my guard? By the way, would you also create in me a clean heart today. Like you've done with countless others, I stand in need of your mending grace.

Thanks Lord!

A simple salute--part 2

2007-05-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

It was an incredible scene: As the funeral home brought Ray back home last Friday, 8,000 people lined the streets in the small town (10,000 or so) of Andrews--giving Ray Bevel a heroes welcome. Every business except the hospital closed. Prison Guards outside of the prison walls payed homage. Flags waved. People cheered, cryed & remembered a friend they loved. How do you express support and love as a city any better?

On Monday, 1,300 packed the civic center and it was an awesome cite. I don't think I've ever had a more difficult singing assignment. I was full of emotion and had to try to disconnect from the reality that a 22 year old wife of 1 year was burying her husband. Two brothers wept--the older who could hardly walk, just devastated by the reality he faced. The younger, 1 month away from being deployed to Iraq. A dad that never stopped crying. A mom who held a flag like I hold my sweet baby Olivia in my arms--but a universe away from my joy.

I watched as the older brother went to the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. Weeping. Shaking. Desparately wanting to deny the truth. I imagined what my big brother would do if that were me. I wept. Shook. Desparately praying against that thought--hoping for many more years with my loved ones. Weeping at the loss of my own daughter, Hope Victoria, who I never got to hold, but who I got to see and fall in love with. Wondering what it would be like to bury my family. Praying to God that I never have to bury a grown son. Begging God to let me be the one who has to bear the loss of my wife someday, so she doesn't have to go through the pain without me. All kinds of weird thoughts just flooding my soul.

I'm the youngest, and I guess I've just assumed that I will bury my parents and siblings. I've even prepared myself for that reality in some ways, telling myself that it's the "natural order" of things. But the truth is that God's process and plan is different than my own. I hope that I will be the last to go in my Wall clan--the youngest song of Phil, the youngest grandson of Pauline. But whenever God decides that my tour of duty is done complete, I've intrusted myself to Him. He always knows what is best--but I'm going to live life to the fullest baby!

I hugged my wife longer and more often this week. I called my family just to tell them I love them. I've told my kids I delight in every moment God gives me with them. I thank God for my wife, kids and life. I am so blessed and grateful for the way God reminded me to live --even thru Ray's death.

A simple salute

2007-04-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I sing in a funeral for Ray Bevel in Andrews, TX. He is the first person that I've known personally to die in Iraq. He married Brooke Hooper last year before going to fight in Iraq. Ray's death is tragic, sad and indescribable. But something amazing is happening in front of my eyes.

Ray is coming home to a heroe's welcome. The 1,200 seat civic center in Andrews is expected to be standing-room-only for tomorrow's funeral. When they brought his body from the airport, the community lined up to honor his life. In Andrews, Ray's hometown, flag tributes are on display all over the town. The family got to be in Austin as the senate declared it named Ray Bevel day in Texas. Ray's life is having an impact on this region--even in his death.

Although I didn't know Ray well, he knew Jesus. He loved and gave himself for the well-being & freedom of others. Although I hope to live a long time, those things are worth giving my life for. Those things are worthy of great sacrifice.

I'm proud of you Ray. I salute your courage & faithfulness to your mission. I hope the people who know & love me best can say that about me at my funeral. God bless you and your family.

Sweet Olivia

2007-04-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Olivia & Ashley enjoy a little lake time photo opp. Olivia's tongue is something to behold!

Calling Jeff out

2007-04-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, It's officiall--I'm a lame blogger. However, I love to compete. So, I'm calling out my buddy Jeff Cash to write more than me. It's not that I want to write so much as I like hearing about what he's up to in Uganda. He's always got some crazy idea that God is somehow, miraculously pulling together. After spending a week with him in January, I'm even more amazed at what an amazing job he's doing in Uganda. So Jeff, consider the gauntlet thrown down dude!

Sweet Gifts

2006-10-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

Olivia is just starting to smile--we keep trying to catch it but she's fast. Here's a cute little smirk.

Getting specific

2006-09-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to some thoughts about setting goals and the power of writing some goals down. I'm just beginning the book, but we'll see how it ends up. It's made me begin to think about what good goals might look like.

Anyway, I'm thankful that Paul talks about goals as a result of wanting to know Christ (Phil 3.10...). So I'm thinking about goals this week--goals that I want only my eyes to see, and goals that I want to tell the world.

What goals have you written down?

Da' Raiders

2006-09-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

I love fantasy football. It just rocks.

My favorite football team is the Oakland Raiders--thus the logo!

Welcome Olivia Faith!

2006-08-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

What a blessing we received with Olivia's arrival! Praise God for such a sweet girl!

...then there were 6!

2006-08-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

Blog or Talk? give me a phone!

2006-05-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I last blogged that it's sort of embarassing to "re-start". Let me confess that I think about it a lot more than I actually write about. This writing process is not me in my element. I don't like the way I feel about the way I think blogging makes me look (see how difficult I can make things?).

So here are my issues with blogging:
1. It seems indulgent.
Like a 3 year old who says, "Look at me, I can jump!" then proceeds to bend and then straigten his knees. The parent, affirms the heart and the attempt, but is truly not impressed. That may be where I find my heart this morning--may be part of my problem--is that I may be writing to impress you. A task that I never seem able to do to my satisfaction. When I read guys like Mike Cope and Mark Moore--it's like they know how to connect with you in just the right way.

2. It requires discipline.
Don't get me wrong, I am very disciplined about certain things--writing just isn't one of them. So then it becomes like a dreaded homework assignment that looms over my head. Certainly not the kind of thing that you're excited about doing. Not something you look forward to doing.

3. It doesn't like me.
Really. Blogging does not like me. Because of my bad perspective (it seems indulgent) and my lack of commitment--who can keep up with my thoughts? Who would WANT to? So it's easier for me now to rationalize why it's not such a big deal to miss another day of blogging (who cares anyway?).

But on the other hand, I got a call from one of my favorite people on earth over the weekend. He had gone to the blog and laughed at seeing my last post on Valentines day. I chuckled a little too--that sort of--I'm really embarassed but have no defense---kind of laugh. He just wanted to see how I was doing and ask me for a book recommendation (he liked the book I recommended to him last summer: Blue Like Jazz).

It was great to hear from him and it got me thinking--I love to talk to people--and maybe this blog can serve as a vortex of friendship.

So, if you are still reading this long blog (is that a blong?) -- email me your phone number and I'll give you a call to say hello. And then you can tease me about not blogging enough and I'll laugh. And we'll enjoy hearing familiar voices and just enjoying the moment.

God bless you today. Your friend, bw

Love, Bert

2006-02-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Trisha and I had what many have called a "whirlwind" romance. We met on May 18 and got married December 28. We then began a new ministry in Tyler, TX on Feb 1, 1996.

Being new to Tyler and romantic Valentine ideas, I leaned on the experience of several new friends--Danny Snell, Tim Henderson and Steve Arnold--longtime Youth Ministers and Tyler residents. They suggested a lunch together at a quaint, antique shop and buffet. If you know those guys, I should have known better:-).

Being an extroverted, ready-for-a-party person, I thought it would be fun. But my introverted, lets-stay-home-and-relax wife did not. So the lunch idea went from bad to worse. The ambience was lacking. The food was mediocre. And the "singing telegram" was not my cup of tea.

But after the singers sang their songs, they passed out a flower and a card to each of our wives. The message inside of the card we had to fax a few days prior to this group. But when Trisha opened up the card, she read, "I love you sweetheart. Happy Valentines day. Love, Bert"

"Who is Bert?" In the moment, it was funny to everyone except Trisha. Now, 10 years later, I'm trying to figure out how to love my wife a little better -- but on Valentines day, I sign my cards with the now humorous line, "love, Bert."

Got any funny stories you'd like to share about romance gone bad? I'd love to hear them! bw

Do you like numbers?

2006-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not a numbers obsessed person. I don't like being defined by numbers--because they tell a little of a story, but sometimes miss the heart of it.

However, on occasion, numbers can be indicators of what is going on in a ministry.

For those of you supporting my family at the New Life Church, here are some numbers to consider that I hope will strengthen your resolve that this is a God thing and that your investment in the Kingdom is fruitful.

Our church began with a core group of 69 people from Golf Course Rd. Our first Sunday, we had 100 visitors. 40 of whom were totally unchurched. 60 of whom were "looking for a church home."

In our first 4 months, we have averaged 172 people in attendance on Sunday mornings. The last two Sundays of 2005 we averaged 254 people. God has graced us with 2 baptisms. Since September 11, 66 people have joined the New Life family as co-workers for Christ.

God has also blessed us with 8 small groups--not including student and worship ministry groups. This means that at least 8 families have committed to co-shepherd the flock with the Halstead's and Wall's.

On a percentage basis, 75 people invested in Odessa for only four months has yielded over 100% growth rate. It's yielded a conversion ratio (how many Christians it takes to convert a non-Christian) of about 40-to-1.

So what to make of the numbers? For me personally, two numbers matter most. How many of our people would consider themselves workers (people who ownership in a ministry)--and how many workers are we raising up? Also, how many non-Christians are being led to the Lord? My prayer is that God would bring enough workers to see a person come to Christ every week this year.

Now how about you and your church? Are you a worker? Someone who is relied upon to make ministry happen? Someone who is working to make sure your church succeeds? How are you or the leaders at your church raising up leaders to leverage more ministry inside & outside of the church? How about your conversion ratio? How many Christians did it take this past year to lead one person to Christ?

Are these the only numbers that matter? Of course not!! Please don't hear me say that. These numbers don't mean that what we're doing is more important than what other churches are doing. But these numbers remind me that your life and my life matters to the Kingdom of God. Planting churches is effective and productive! If you have partnered with us financially and in prayer, than claim these numbers as your own. You are full partners with us in the gospel. Your generosity is making it possible for us to live in Odessa. Your prayers are being heard and answered by God! Your friendship and little notes are breathing life into our spirit. Ultimately though, all this blah, blah, blog boils down to this truth--we are one in Christ. Praise God!

To Kill a Mouse

2006-01-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

While I was away to Nashville for a Youth Ministers conference last week, my wife discovered that we have a mouse living in our house (note to self--not a good time to be gone!). When I got home, several of our dearest friends, Josh G. & Jarrod H., arrived and spent a few nights with us--with new traps set out all over the place. But we saw no mouse.

So last night, after a full Sunday, we were getting in our bed and Trisha saw the mouse--in our room! So I gathered stuff in piles and we decided to trap the mouse somehow. I pulled out my mallet--my putter which had a nice big, heavy head that I had mostly whined about until now when it was finally helpful.

I managed to chase the mice from one corner of the room to the other--and back and forth--several times. After the 3rd time I thought about calling him Vince (in honor of my nemisis from the BCS championship game) --but I didn't until now. Finally, we made a trap in the corner and I grabbed a towel to throw over him, scoop him up and toss him outside.

Well, we got him into the corner. I threw the towel on him but in the mayhem (I don't know how to do this calmly) I could not tell if I had caught him or not. So what would you do if you're not really sure you caught the stinkin' mouse? Of course, I looked in the towel (Note to readers: if you try this someday, take the balled up towel outside first--then check) and out he jumped again!! My heart jumped out of my mouth! This time, he ran underneath the treadmill and up inside the machine (I think--even after turning it on he did not come out and he somehow "disappeared").

After going to the store to get some mouse traps--and setting them out with peanut butter--we crashed having failed to catch that little varment. So today I'm angry and grouchy!

So do any of you guys have a suggestion for catching a mouse?