Monday, May 15, 2006

Blog or Talk? give me a phone!

It has been so long since I last blogged that it's sort of embarassing to "re-start". Let me confess that I think about it a lot more than I actually write about. This writing process is not me in my element. I don't like the way I feel about the way I think blogging makes me look (see how difficult I can make things?).

So here are my issues with blogging:
1. It seems indulgent.
Like a 3 year old who says, "Look at me, I can jump!" then proceeds to bend and then straigten his knees. The parent, affirms the heart and the attempt, but is truly not impressed. That may be where I find my heart this morning--may be part of my problem--is that I may be writing to impress you. A task that I never seem able to do to my satisfaction. When I read guys like Mike Cope and Mark Moore--it's like they know how to connect with you in just the right way.

2. It requires discipline.
Don't get me wrong, I am very disciplined about certain things--writing just isn't one of them. So then it becomes like a dreaded homework assignment that looms over my head. Certainly not the kind of thing that you're excited about doing. Not something you look forward to doing.

3. It doesn't like me.
Really. Blogging does not like me. Because of my bad perspective (it seems indulgent) and my lack of commitment--who can keep up with my thoughts? Who would WANT to? So it's easier for me now to rationalize why it's not such a big deal to miss another day of blogging (who cares anyway?).

But on the other hand, I got a call from one of my favorite people on earth over the weekend. He had gone to the blog and laughed at seeing my last post on Valentines day. I chuckled a little too--that sort of--I'm really embarassed but have no defense---kind of laugh. He just wanted to see how I was doing and ask me for a book recommendation (he liked the book I recommended to him last summer: Blue Like Jazz).

It was great to hear from him and it got me thinking--I love to talk to people--and maybe this blog can serve as a vortex of friendship.

So, if you are still reading this long blog (is that a blong?) -- email me your phone number and I'll give you a call to say hello. And then you can tease me about not blogging enough and I'll laugh. And we'll enjoy hearing familiar voices and just enjoying the moment.

God bless you today. Your friend, bw

2 comments:

C D said...

I hear ya... sometimes I'm a blogging maniac, other times it seems I just keep writing the same stuff over and over... and when I read other people's stuff I just go, "wow, how come I can't do that?" I suppose we need to revel in our unique-ness

BEN!! Carrie (Young) now Hall here... saw a comment on someone's blog (regarding competitive art), and thought, "cool!" So will keep an eye out for you!

I've been scrapbooking my Pepperdine Years - it is turning into many volumes...(!) and have a great picture of Marie & you in the choir room. [http://www.mariebarlow.com/ ] if you don't know what she is doing... she's doing great!!

Anyhoo.... just thought I'd poke my head in your space and say hi!

Jeff Cash said...

Hey Ben,
some how your number didn't get saved in my phone. Can you believe that?
Well the other day when you guys were getting ready to go I told you I wanted to go but Cheryl wasn't feeling well. When I got to the house she told me I should go. I tried to call and got cheryl's Dad. What is Ben's number? We called Cherise but she wasn't home so we left a message. We were trying to get your number.
I threw some stuff in a bag and raced over to your office. You were gone!!!!!!!
so some times the phone is not the best way!!!!
I was bummed so I went to Sam's and spent $48 on juice. I should never go shopping when I'm thirsty. Can that be called a drinking problem?
So the airtime on my phone ran out while I was at Sam's. I bought a $30 card.
When I got home...I discoverd I had purchased the wrong type!!!
This one works on Cheryl's phone not mine!
Maybe if she is in the mood she can give you a call and you can laught about my comedy of "errors".